Adhere

It is blasphemy, not in a religious sense though. More of a deviation in rationality. Blasphemy in it’s most secular form. What? I cannot truly say, it is a model, a prototype of the extremely profane. It is the epitome of next to nothing. It is the sound of self reassembly, cunningly forming a mould for use in the post-modern era. It is leased life, fully unoriginal, yet accepted by the norms. It is evolution remixed and remastered with a hint of reverberation  and distortion. It is unsalted, bland, yet to a certain degree: a culinary masterpiece. It fits yet it is incompatible. It is the synonym and antonym of all that has been created and destroyed.

Adhere! To those we fail to supply affection and/or apply to. Adhere! For we are misguided freaks craving for attention. Adhere! For we are in a solution of chaos and disinformation.

Being Pretentious

I am who I am and the ideals that i believe in are upheld with great persistence for who I am are defined by these ideals which I truly believe and uphold. Everything else is mere bullshit. -APS

A conversation of ideals and perspectives lead to an interesting conclusion: we are narrow-minded jackasses that refuse to debate the very core of our idealisms. Faith is somewhat a dangerous noun/adjective at a certain level, for when we hold on to an ideology based on faith alone, we become distant from logic. We would not try to understand opposing arguments and quickly dismiss them as threats. To think of it; it’s humorous how majorities are always threatened by minorities. As a majority (a Javanese Muslim) that spends a lot of time with minorities (Chinese and/or Non-Muslims) there does seems to be an idea that minorities have an apt in being more superior.

I realized that some majority groups see minorities as a threat when I attended a pesantren kilat when I was in High School, an ustad (well i assume he was an ustad since i was half asleep (the khotbah (sermon) was at night) and he was sporting a long beard) explicitly said that “we should not support people like Rexy Mainaki (a non-muslim Indonesian badminton player)” and would be better off supporting malaysian players who are muslim. I was 16 at the time and attended catholic school for 9 years, a racist comment like that blew my mind.

A catholic PPKn teacher in my Junor High once said that “we should respect the adzan (muslim call to prayers), because it actually can remind us of the path of christ’s sacrifice” he then explained something about the chronological order of which christ was crucified but I can’t recall the details since I didn’t actually care. Maybe it is because there is a certain fear distilled in minorities which moulds them into peace loving people, because religion wise right wing christians in America are the proprietors of the hate-filled Klu Klux Klan and Irish catholics did promote violence against anglican christian minorities back in the day. So it always boils down to majorities seeing minorities as a threat, not the religion itself.

That aside, what i was trying to point out, is the fact that when we start to fully believe in something fanatically we tend to dismiss logic and start being idiots, trying to attack whatever different prespective than our own, we become pretentious, trying to force everything into a more acceptable point of view (acceptable by ourselves that is) eventhough it sometimes doesn’t and definitely will not fit. I ranted so much that I actually wanted to use my pretentiousness in free culture as an example, but i guess the above points would do nicely.

…

What the heck, I’ll just tell the free culture thing too.

So my own example would be my interest in free culture, I believe in this ideology so much i refuse to give in to some (in my logic) illogical formats in technology. Let’s call this piece of proprietary technology “BlackB” or “BB” (obvious no?) for short. Since my last cellphone failed, i acquired a used BB smartphone which belonged to my dad, this BB thing has a service which allowed BB holders to communicate with each other with ease. This method to me is a very closed and intrusive system, which is why i refuse to use the service. My belief in openness which is the basic assumption of free culture has made me so narrow minded that I would not even considering in using that option and hence removing my chance to wider communcation possibilities. What was based on the upholding of ideals become purely silly. This device has a potential to simplify communication, why should I refuse to accepting that? In the end I am another narrow-minded jackass that refuses to be fucked out of my ideals.

No, I haven’t activated the service and probably never will, I am just that pig headed.

The Art of Melancholy

What an emo fucking title I wrote… -APS

We are creatures of habit, once we have constructed a method or model in which we carry out actions, we usually stick to those methods no matter what, even if it isn’t the most effective. Naturally, if those method fails, we try to blame factors other than ourselves, a combination of denial and justification. This is the art of melancholy.

It is melancholic because we nag about pretenses and assumptions on what went wrong, that this chaos was mould by our environment, by society. True, they do play a big part in our daily fuck-ups and we wont be what we are without their contribution, but to classify them as the main and exclusive clause is somewhat over-rated. We earn what our actions produce, a fuck-up only occurs strictly when an action is delivered, without us (the actor) there would be no fuck up, secondary elements which contribute to this fuck-up are miniscule, they only add to the fuck-up which was originally produced by the individual actor.

Introspect: we, who we are, are responsible to every crap and/or yield that presents itself in our lives. Retrospect: our actions, what we have done in the past, are the main catalysts of the crap and/or yield that presents itself in our lives. But even that said, complaining is a justifiable coping mechanisms in dealing with crap mentioned above. Denied and justified by myself of course.