Archive for September, 2012

September 29, 2012

Just Another Dump File

I haven’t really anything to say — well not so much as usual — but it seems that I have this egocentric drive that ushers me into writing. I only haven’t written for a month and I feel as if I haven’t written in years. Hyperbolic as that fact is, it is mostly true, that there seems to be an itch to publish something. Nothing important of course, just to ease the mind from sediments of cyclical thoughts that keeps on going for a largeĀ  part of my life; A “dump file”, just large enough to spare me from uneasiness, uncomfortability (as usual, not really a word), and other un-sensations. Truth be told, as apparent ageing proceeds, this “dump file” seems to leave smaller a footprint than usual. Life is somewhat good, when contemplation is redirected/misdirected into seeing — whether sincere or in denial — the end in mind. Not particularly goal oriented just believing that you know where your going. The word believe is chosen because no one really knows to where their visions may take them. To have ideals and such is a mighty tool into empowering this belief. This pseudo-faith at least keeps your drive to succeed high enough.

Success, if such a word really does exist beyond the planes of concepts, theories, and the ideal type, would be the nirvana of all working class/social climbers/drones/gold diggers/bottom feeders/opportunity scrapers/etc. The final resting plane for the next hike into the peak point of living. Definitions, terminologies, construction of meaning, a nondescript set of words that remind us that there will always be a last chapter, the nihilist’s nightmare.

Leaving the 19th Floor, not looking back, redefining memories and the usual consequences of action escorts me to a sort of realization that somehow we always need a change of scene. Compromise, as non-idealistic as it may be, is a constant that seems to pester existence in general. To submit to values and ideals outside of our minuscule knowledge, dwarfed by the massiveness of the universe, we are but humble nodes insignificant enough yet essential for the operability of life, the universe, and everything else. A node who if self-conscious enough may mould into whatever it desires to be, make themselves with whatever may facilitate its journey.

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