Archive for February, 2009

February 20, 2009

As we trace the back of our spine…

Time is inevitable, we grow, expand, rearranging ourselves either in an explicit tangible display or an internal undisclosed manner. We don’t create new spines as we grow, rather spines in its individual column shape-shifts  itself into what we are. We don’t grow anew into this self proclaimed “new us”, but rather shape-shift, layering ourselves with new perspectives and thoughts that make us what we are now. Those experiences of emotions that for what seemed a lifetime.

Yet we often forget these layers beautifully covered… The true us of what we really are composed… The inescapable reality of what we are inside…

I myself am trying to embrace the inner me, that idiotic geek that knew less. Sometimes in our new skin we find these dead ends. Dead ends which we find ourselves thinking what the hell am I doing here… “Khilaf” as we say in Indonesia… an Arabic derivative meaning “accidentally doing something that we aren’t supposed to do”, flying blind. We sometimes get too accustomed to this “new us” that we lose what we actually are, our core personality – a set of personal ideologies and morals – for the sake of peer pressure or personal gain.

What is morality anyway in this modern era? Crap maybe… Useless pointers that get us nowhere, boxing us inside these set of rules made by people trying to control free will.

Really?

As we trace the back of our spine… Where did those now-calcium-covered layers go?

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