Archive for January, 2009

January 26, 2009

Of Mermaids and Dugongs…

Reality, for some, is not the world seen as it is, yet it is what we see to create… the world in the perspective of a fish-bowl…

We create the realities we choose to see, hear, touch, smell, and taste… subjective angles repositioned for the curtained mind…

Of mermaids and dugongs (the sea mammal), that we choose too see mermaids, sweet smelling aestheticly beautiful creatures of the sea… In which we deny to see its true form as a dugong (sea cow), ugly, smelly, fat creatures….

Looking back and introspecting, with all these metaphoric ghosts hanging about in my mind, it has come to my attention that we only choose to  see things of the extreme… It’s either those frightful memories of loss and pain or euphoric feelings of achievements… Falling off from your bike the first time, heartbreaks, accidents, death, the first kiss, losing virginity, your first beer, first bud, even more heartbreaks, failed plans, broken dreams, etc….

When actually life is bland… routines and rituals that go on an on constantly in a never ending cycle… We just choose to add a little zest to it by hanging on to the memories that give us meaning… Spicing life… Curry to rice…

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January 26, 2009

The 21st year of living…

21… a number, comprised of two digits….

In the western cultural sense, it is an age of independence, ripeness, adulthood, wisdom, enlightenment, a very personal renaissance…

Yet, as that age hits me (no, I do not hit that age as i have never really fancied birthdays) nothing seems to change… I wake up and still feel that small sense of self pity I had grown accustomed to all my life…

Weird is the life that god has put me in, how my growth stunted at the age of 14 yet it does not change my egocentric narcissistic idealistic way of thinking…  And over seven years later I’m still the small guy that has a lot to say…. Even when it does not matter…

A lot of people ask, where to now? What’s my goal? Purpose? Plan? I’ll have to say I am one of them… I usually have this sort of 5 to 6 year plan, where I’m going, how to achieve that certain goal, what path would I take… Alas, experience thought me better, to live life… to take chances… and sometimes winging it…

Well actually fuck this, no one needs advice on living their life, because people differ in so many ways, they have their own way, their own style, their own life…

To live by the words of others… Controlled and conformed…. Peacefully unliberated…

And here I am 21 years out of the womb… Still confused as ever… Asking those same jaded questions over and over… Seeking purpose, questioning the very existentiality of life… Seeing those dead, wondering that we’ll just end up there… in a 2 by a half metre dug up earth… And us in it…

Death as the final means of life…

January 24, 2009

My First Post… (Preambule)

Ok, so… this is my first ever post on my first very own blog…

I actually used to critisize all those people blogging away their unimportant life occurences that nobody gives a damn about… – that said applies to what i am writing now –

The thought of privacy and the paranoia of intellectual property being stolen…

Over these 21 years of my life i have come to think that keeping thoughts to one’s self is actually depressing… A feeling that can be expressed by the analogy of having eaten too much…

Yes i do share my thoughts with my loved ones, but… they’re my loved ones…. they take me as i am, in bitter or sweet (an assholish jerk or a shoulder to cry on (and yes this is one way to conquer the female ego))

By this time now, you would probably realize that i write very unsystematicly random, with more of a ranting tone…

And so enjoy these rants…..