Would Have, Should Have, Could Have.

I have not written for so long.

They say time mellows wisdom, where emotions ripen and forethought becomes a priority. Actually no, age has very little to do with wisdom. Those who do say that are probably people struggling to balance sanity with post-power-syndrome: the respect freaks. In my young adult life I have met many people who have aged gracefully, and even then these people are still bothered with the common ponders of “would have, should have, could have”. As with my option and chances theory, the Would Should Could (WSC) plagues the minds of the majority of the global population simply because it is a choice of future, present, and past tendencies which determine the assumption of where we will be, where we are, and where we were.

We, well some of us, spend a lot of time analysing the past and how that information will be useful for the challenges we face now and later. It is a pre-emptive liberation from uncontrolled consequences. In a way, WSC is more of an analytical tool of sorts which uses past experiences to create assumptions in which what the outcome will be for future problems/choices. It is also a double edged sword in which the analytical process becomes stuck in the cycle of a worried state: building assumptions without actually amounting into anything. The assumption is thick in fear and worry that we become afraid of the assumptions we create in our heads. We give up to the assumptions, which is illogical since it is our own voices in our heads that we fear.

It is solutive as well as entrapping at the same time. It boosts morale as well as lock us in a state of perpetual self-loathing.

We imagine a Would — imagine, not plan — of ideals and end-goals gleaming with promises, also, imagined. A future constructed in our minds as if we are highly apt soothesayers reading silver linings on clouds. A Should, as in how we imagine what to act upon the hypothethical and the scenarios playing in our heads to actual present situations. To act and to imagining to act is clearly, definitely, uncomparable. How many times we simulate a scenario in our head will never accumulate to an actual outcome, it is psychological masturbation: orgasmic yet empty; the void of body heat transfer confuses what is supposed to be, a shared experience. Lastly the Could, a retrospective view on what has been done and imagined and outcome and enjoyment and dissapointment and achievements and failures rolled up into a claylike ball, merged and blurred, warped into unfamiliar shapes as the brain continues to create pseudo memories. It is only reference, nothing more. The temptation of contemplating the retrospect on what we may think we were capable of at a particularly specific time and space. A pack mule hunting a carrot on the end of a stick.